The Ozzman
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- Mar 20, 2010
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I wish I could provide as glowing a report as snowmonger here but such is not the case. I debated about whether or not I really wanted to post anything at all but in the better interest of all pooners, especially those first-timers like me I feel any info is better than none.
Let me give you some background, as I mentioned above this was my first experience pooning. The only other experience I had before this was a massage with Shakti Bliss which I really had no complaints about. In fact, it was great! However, there was no screwing involved...just a "happy" ending.
Needless to say I was quite nervous about all this and I didn't know what to expect. I have read a lot of reviews on here and this is where I went wrong. I read a lot of positive reviews about BBC so I decided to go there. However, I didn't go with someone that has been proven to be good through multiple positive reviews. So here goes the experience...
I called up BBC a couple of days ago and was asking about pricing and stuff. They gave me the pricing and at this time it was around 4 something in the afternoon. The person on the phone said that there would be a shift change so there would be a better selection at 5pm. So I said to myself, why the hell not? I'll wait the 40 something minutes nearby and then head on over.
So I get there at 5:05pm...I'm politely greeted by the hostess and taken to a room. Then a girl walks in, introduces herself as Lacy and then leaves. Then the hostess lady tells me that she is the only one available. Holy shiet...there must have been a lot of guys that came in those 5 minutes!!! At this point I should have trusted my instinct to just leave, because Lacy was an unknown factor to me and correct me if i'm wrong but beyond snowmonger's review there haven't been any others. Now don't get me wrong, Lacy was a decent looking girl...having dated asians for almost all of my adult life I wasn't really looking for an asian for this experience. On top of that I guess I'm a little more picky when because i've dated so many of them...she was alright look-wise...a little on the scrawny side...I hate to make comparisons but with the way her hair hung over her face it kinda reminded me of The Ring. But she did have a nice rack...WHOA! Maybe that's what did me in.
So against my better judgement I agreed to an hour. That was my second mistake... I thought that I might get a decent or at least half decent massage for about 30 minutes and then some fooling around for another 15 and then the deed for maybe 10 if I could last that long. I then paid upfront the two browns and then added on another 2 greens for the tip. I tip pretty well, but not usually before seeing what kind of service I would get...but since it was pay upfront I decided to do it all at once. *Note: I also had the discount ad from the GS but I forgot to mention it to the hostess...which only makes this whole thing that much worse...SHIET!*
So in I go to the room, strip down and lie on the bed. In walks Lacy...she strips down to her panties and then comes over to the bed and asks me if I want a massage. Yup! That's one of the main things I came here for... WRONG ANSWER! I've had weak massages, but as massages go this one was the worst i've ever experienced. Some half hearted rotations with her wrists around my shoulder blades, a little on my lower back and that was the extent of the massage. She asks me...do you like it? What am I supposed to say??? No?!?
Then she asks me to flip over so I flip over. Being already disappointed with the "massage" I am at least hoping this will make up for it. So she goes and grabs a rubber and puts it on. Trying to lighten the mood I joke around and ask, what's that for? She goes...just in case? I go, just in case of what? And then it died there...so much for lightening the mood. Anyways she then moves on to a CBJ...(notice how i'm a noob at this and yet I have already started to use the acronyms... ) Oh, I forgot to mention that by this point i'm only 10 mins into my session.
So the CBJ was nice but I wanted to 69...but for some odd reason she couldn't understand the concept so after some fumbling around she goes she would rather lie down. So fine...she lies down and then I start at her breasts and move downward for some DATY. Ok, to be honest I had a tough time finding the clit...now I have had my share of encounters with the female persuasion but for some damn reason, I couldn't find it on this girl! So needless to say I sucked it up...and not in a good way. So I just said...screw it...literally. At this point I'm about 16 or 18 minutes in. During all this Lacy is just laying there like a dead fish.
So to set the stage for the finale, I was already nervous enough, I did tell her this was my first time which she didn't help alleviate the nervousness or awkwardness at all and if you catch my handle, I already have issues with blowing it too quickly. I like the comment that another fellow eforum.xxx made when he said something along the lines of, i came faster than a teen in a sorority change room. I put it in...and after a couple of strokes I was done.
Now i'm only 24 minutes into my session. I'm thinking to myself...so what happens now? She asks me if I wanted a hot cloth to wipe off with so I say, sure. She then puts on her clothes to go get the hot cloth. She comes back in with a cold one...I'm thinking...whatever. By this point I'm already in a funk about this entire experience. Then she just stands at the open door while I wipe off... So I figure, this must be my cue to exit. I put on my clothes and as I'm walking out of the room past her she says, I hope you had a good time. YEAH RIGHT...
Bottom line...I was pissed to the point that I didn't bother using the coupon, or complaining to the hostess and I just wanted to make a quick exit. This being my first experience i'm inclined to never do this again...anywhere...might be a blessing in disguise I must say. It just sucked big hairy donkey nuts...pardon my french. I also would have rather have used that money to buy myself a Wii...i'd get more entertainment and satisfaction from that! Not to mention the fact I wish I went with the half hour, or at least have used the GS discounted rate, then I wish I didn't tip 2 greens. Bottom line, sucky experience. I should have trusted to the reviews. I could have put that money to better use with a better girl.
Sorry, this is so long, but I needed to rant a little about this experience. I'm hoping rookie eforum.xxxs will learn from the mistakes I made to avoid this kind of experience.
Let me give you some background, as I mentioned above this was my first experience pooning. The only other experience I had before this was a massage with Shakti Bliss which I really had no complaints about. In fact, it was great! However, there was no screwing involved...just a "happy" ending.
Needless to say I was quite nervous about all this and I didn't know what to expect. I have read a lot of reviews on here and this is where I went wrong. I read a lot of positive reviews about BBC so I decided to go there. However, I didn't go with someone that has been proven to be good through multiple positive reviews. So here goes the experience...
I called up BBC a couple of days ago and was asking about pricing and stuff. They gave me the pricing and at this time it was around 4 something in the afternoon. The person on the phone said that there would be a shift change so there would be a better selection at 5pm. So I said to myself, why the hell not? I'll wait the 40 something minutes nearby and then head on over.
So I get there at 5:05pm...I'm politely greeted by the hostess and taken to a room. Then a girl walks in, introduces herself as Lacy and then leaves. Then the hostess lady tells me that she is the only one available. Holy shiet...there must have been a lot of guys that came in those 5 minutes!!! At this point I should have trusted my instinct to just leave, because Lacy was an unknown factor to me and correct me if i'm wrong but beyond snowmonger's review there haven't been any others. Now don't get me wrong, Lacy was a decent looking girl...having dated asians for almost all of my adult life I wasn't really looking for an asian for this experience. On top of that I guess I'm a little more picky when because i've dated so many of them...she was alright look-wise...a little on the scrawny side...I hate to make comparisons but with the way her hair hung over her face it kinda reminded me of The Ring. But she did have a nice rack...WHOA! Maybe that's what did me in.
So against my better judgement I agreed to an hour. That was my second mistake... I thought that I might get a decent or at least half decent massage for about 30 minutes and then some fooling around for another 15 and then the deed for maybe 10 if I could last that long. I then paid upfront the two browns and then added on another 2 greens for the tip. I tip pretty well, but not usually before seeing what kind of service I would get...but since it was pay upfront I decided to do it all at once. *Note: I also had the discount ad from the GS but I forgot to mention it to the hostess...which only makes this whole thing that much worse...SHIET!*
So in I go to the room, strip down and lie on the bed. In walks Lacy...she strips down to her panties and then comes over to the bed and asks me if I want a massage. Yup! That's one of the main things I came here for... WRONG ANSWER! I've had weak massages, but as massages go this one was the worst i've ever experienced. Some half hearted rotations with her wrists around my shoulder blades, a little on my lower back and that was the extent of the massage. She asks me...do you like it? What am I supposed to say??? No?!?
Then she asks me to flip over so I flip over. Being already disappointed with the "massage" I am at least hoping this will make up for it. So she goes and grabs a rubber and puts it on. Trying to lighten the mood I joke around and ask, what's that for? She goes...just in case? I go, just in case of what? And then it died there...so much for lightening the mood. Anyways she then moves on to a CBJ...(notice how i'm a noob at this and yet I have already started to use the acronyms... ) Oh, I forgot to mention that by this point i'm only 10 mins into my session.
So the CBJ was nice but I wanted to 69...but for some odd reason she couldn't understand the concept so after some fumbling around she goes she would rather lie down. So fine...she lies down and then I start at her breasts and move downward for some DATY. Ok, to be honest I had a tough time finding the clit...now I have had my share of encounters with the female persuasion but for some damn reason, I couldn't find it on this girl! So needless to say I sucked it up...and not in a good way. So I just said...screw it...literally. At this point I'm about 16 or 18 minutes in. During all this Lacy is just laying there like a dead fish.
So to set the stage for the finale, I was already nervous enough, I did tell her this was my first time which she didn't help alleviate the nervousness or awkwardness at all and if you catch my handle, I already have issues with blowing it too quickly. I like the comment that another fellow eforum.xxx made when he said something along the lines of, i came faster than a teen in a sorority change room. I put it in...and after a couple of strokes I was done.
Now i'm only 24 minutes into my session. I'm thinking to myself...so what happens now? She asks me if I wanted a hot cloth to wipe off with so I say, sure. She then puts on her clothes to go get the hot cloth. She comes back in with a cold one...I'm thinking...whatever. By this point I'm already in a funk about this entire experience. Then she just stands at the open door while I wipe off... So I figure, this must be my cue to exit. I put on my clothes and as I'm walking out of the room past her she says, I hope you had a good time. YEAH RIGHT...
Bottom line...I was pissed to the point that I didn't bother using the coupon, or complaining to the hostess and I just wanted to make a quick exit. This being my first experience i'm inclined to never do this again...anywhere...might be a blessing in disguise I must say. It just sucked big hairy donkey nuts...pardon my french. I also would have rather have used that money to buy myself a Wii...i'd get more entertainment and satisfaction from that! Not to mention the fact I wish I went with the half hour, or at least have used the GS discounted rate, then I wish I didn't tip 2 greens. Bottom line, sucky experience. I should have trusted to the reviews. I could have put that money to better use with a better girl.
Sorry, this is so long, but I needed to rant a little about this experience. I'm hoping rookie eforum.xxxs will learn from the mistakes I made to avoid this kind of experience.