Syd Barrett
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This is by no means any attempt at a definitive lowdown on the subject above, just a brief glimpse of what I saw last night told in a narrative style.
I got a call from a friend Spike ( Phuket renowned for his Spikey Dog sausages) yesterday afternoon, asking if I was interested in conveying a group of fellows into some Phuket Town Karaoke Houses for the evening.
Normally, I conduct pub crawls of the bars of Rawai and Nai Harn on the Southern end of the island , and know the destinations well, but the request picqued my interest , but alarm bells rang as well.
I said , " Spike, you are as aware as I am that some of these places are intensely local, and are not without danger from some young drunken Thai hothead deciding to make big face by picking on a falang , aren't you.."
Spike said ."Yeh, but Keith from Keiths Karaoke in Kathu is organizing the crew, he knows more than most, and besides, 'Lerd' is coming along."
Me, " Lerd?"
"Oh you havent met Lerd? Hes a Thai head detective, hes a really good bloke, and loves getting on it with Keith, he's coming along and acting as security, well, um interpreter. Hes a good bloke to know as well."
Fears allayed I got to Keiths at 8.30pm. All the blokes were English, mainly of the North, and the mixture of accents and terms made me think of the Thais themselves and their dialects. They'd had a few drinks as well , and I really had to tune my ear to keep up with all the cracks and jokes that peppered their banter. Nice blokes but, I'd met a few before as well.
Keith himself is from Manchester , but hates Man U. He fired up the karaoke and ran thru 3 Thai songs he actually sang in Thai and declared us ready. Unfortunately the heavens opened, so the boys carried on with their beers with ice...
A smiling Thai of about 40, and well built, bounded in slightly wet, and introduced himself as Lerd. Shook hands. He had one beer with the blokes and decided we should get going.
He jumped into the front with me and I heard a clatter in the glovebox as I was reversing. I looked across, wondering if I'd hit something in the dark.
He said, " Sorry, sorry that was my gun. If Im get maow ( drunk) and forget , can you remind me about my gun when we come back please?"
This was going to be an interesting night...
He directed me as I drove along , the directions being totally different as to where Keith had described. He was a nervous passenger and said, " Sorry, Im always drive myself. Some young Police drive very clazy bad, and I see many accident for my work..."
He was based off the island, and I asked if , becuse that place had a large Muslim population, that he verified was 40%, that it was a peaceful post in that alcohol related violence was more limited .
He said, " It is more quiet than Patong, yes, but the young people have no book ( Koran) against Crystal Met and the man still are hitting the lady ( spousal abuse) and have big arguing about the land ( boundary disputes). Im sorry, my English is not good"
But it was fine and he was a a real gentleman and quite informative. mature as well, so we talked about language and work while I drove along.
We arrived at a hodge podge gaudily lit building and went inside. The place was big and easily could sit a hundred people on '80s style blue vinyl lounges on a bare concrete floor.
But it was empty bar a lone spot lit Thai girl , singing away in white frock and thigh high white leather boots.
Keith lead the way to a shabby a/c room with a Karaoke machine, and c.c. TV of the girl singing out front.
The boys sipped their beers with ice, and cracked jokes. 2 Thai girls came and set up the machine and they all sat around. Another unattractive girl came in and sat on one of the lads knee. Then another. It was quite boring except for the banter.
Keith finally announced, " The boss of this place ( Noon Karaoke) promised me a room full of naked dancers, that aint gonna happen by the looks...c'mon , less have a song then."
The girls set him up with a tune, and he belted it out in pretty good Thai with a Manchester accent, and before long there were a dozen Thais all at the door, looking surprised and laughing out loud.
I couldnt see Lerd, he was flat out on a lounge , laughing till he had tears in his eyes.
It was certainly loud.
He sang another and all the staff that were now at the door , or on blokes knees cheering again and clapping.
But Lerd had ordered the bin, saying there were plenty more places, but being Thursday night, many would be quiet.
Everyone only had 1000 baht notes when the bin came at 1650, which seemed a bit high to me, so the lads volunteered me , as the sober one, to hold a 'kitty' of 1,000 each, and pay from that.Lerd announced he'd only brought 800 apologetically but Keith and I said ,"Mai plu" ( South thai for "no problem") at the same time,and he nodded graciously.
The next spot was a very modern , smaller disco looking place with a Chinese boss and about 8 very attractive Thai girls there, but Lerd descided we should move on, and we drove a block or so on to the next venue, called Buddys Coffee Lounge.
I reversed the car into a tight spot with Lerd nervously gripping the dash. The boys jumped out and Lerd looked at me and said, " You have very good eye, you drive car very straight and careful all the time and not go over ( indicating the centre). Im not worry anymore."
Inside Buddys it was quite different. There were about 25 dancers and it turned out they could all sing.
As I had my first beer and ice with the boys ( only large bottles) we discussed the merits of adding ice or not. Most had set out the same as me, declaring ice in beer a travesty, but the older hands asserting that the rehydrating property if the water negated hangovers immensely. Didnt matter, the staff added ice and beer to your glass religiously, so you couldnt really measure how many beers you had.
All the dancers gathered on the podium and many were very tidy. Some of the lads eyes glistened. The girls commenced a simple dance routine and Joe next to me, knowing I had a bit of thai, asked me to ask the waitress if he could buy one of the dancers a drink.
I did so, but got a convoluted reply about buying a 'Lei' and that the prices varied for the ladies, some were 200, some 300 and some 400 baht. There was even a 1000 baht one if we wanted to show a special appreciation for them as they each had a turn at singing. I said i didnt really understand, and was telling Joe, when one of the 'male' singers , came over and explained the ritual, as this was really a Thai ritual in the sense that everybody could figure out or assume what the end game was all about but still had to jump thru the hoops, in perfect English.
Lerd had done the same over the other side of the table, and Gary picked a girl in red, now at the mike and crooning very well. She was over the moon ( really!) when she got her 200 baht 'lei' and all the other girls clapped her. They honestly looked to be having a great time. Keith sent up another and same same, then Joe one as well. All cost 200 baht, I dont know why.
With their set complete, the girls with flowers came and sat with the donors. Actually an extra one came and sat with me and Alan, we dont know why. Alan suggested it may be a case of buy 3 get 4 , and laughed. The girl was pretty and had no English.
She was from Roiet, and explained to me that the house needed girls from different areas, so they could sing songs in different dialects and styles, and could also do requests from customers of varying areas..
We were to see this as the ladies came and went to the seforum.xxxe and sang, some in the high falsettoes that were almost Chinese in sound from around Chiang Mai, some in the earthy 'Country' tunes of the Issan...Modern pretty young girls doing Bangkok pop ( Ishy ishy etc)
This was a far cry from the first place, and very entertaining. There were a few tables at the dimly lit back, Thai men with their Mia Nois ( little or 2nd wives) I believe, and a group of 4 young Japanese, one of whom paid the 1000 baht I learnt was the price for the priviledge to get up and sing. He was shy in a Japanese kind of way , but an excellent singer.
Keith wasnt having none of that. Gary sent up another 200 baht 'lei' to his girl when she sang, but a 1000 baht lei arrived first, so the waitress returned his money and took away the flowers while he sat looking puzzled!! The boys thought it hilarious when I announced he'd been 'gazumped'....
At no time was anything 'other' mentioned by anyone, tho clearly the place was a vehicle for later activities...then suddenly it was 1.30am and Lerd was calling for the bin ( bill).
The total was 1800 for an awful lot of beer and the boys approved a payment of 2000 for our more than a couple of happy hours. The singers stayed firmly at their table and waived goodbye.
Lerd is apparently a 4 drink wonder and reclined lazily on the drive back, muttering, " You have good eye", and "You own man but you strong , Thai man same age cannot" and stuff like that.
Kathu was in darkness with a power oueforum.xxxe when the boys got out for a nightcap at Keiths, I reminded Lerd not to forget his gun which I thought he was going to, then Gary reminded me not to drive off with the kitty, which I was nearly going to.
I have been here near 3 years and never ventured into any of these places before.
Depending on the vibe I would certainly go again.
Im wondering if many BMs have tried out Karaokes and or Coffee Shops while staying in Thailand?
I got a call from a friend Spike ( Phuket renowned for his Spikey Dog sausages) yesterday afternoon, asking if I was interested in conveying a group of fellows into some Phuket Town Karaoke Houses for the evening.
Normally, I conduct pub crawls of the bars of Rawai and Nai Harn on the Southern end of the island , and know the destinations well, but the request picqued my interest , but alarm bells rang as well.
I said , " Spike, you are as aware as I am that some of these places are intensely local, and are not without danger from some young drunken Thai hothead deciding to make big face by picking on a falang , aren't you.."
Spike said ."Yeh, but Keith from Keiths Karaoke in Kathu is organizing the crew, he knows more than most, and besides, 'Lerd' is coming along."
Me, " Lerd?"
"Oh you havent met Lerd? Hes a Thai head detective, hes a really good bloke, and loves getting on it with Keith, he's coming along and acting as security, well, um interpreter. Hes a good bloke to know as well."
Fears allayed I got to Keiths at 8.30pm. All the blokes were English, mainly of the North, and the mixture of accents and terms made me think of the Thais themselves and their dialects. They'd had a few drinks as well , and I really had to tune my ear to keep up with all the cracks and jokes that peppered their banter. Nice blokes but, I'd met a few before as well.
Keith himself is from Manchester , but hates Man U. He fired up the karaoke and ran thru 3 Thai songs he actually sang in Thai and declared us ready. Unfortunately the heavens opened, so the boys carried on with their beers with ice...
A smiling Thai of about 40, and well built, bounded in slightly wet, and introduced himself as Lerd. Shook hands. He had one beer with the blokes and decided we should get going.
He jumped into the front with me and I heard a clatter in the glovebox as I was reversing. I looked across, wondering if I'd hit something in the dark.
He said, " Sorry, sorry that was my gun. If Im get maow ( drunk) and forget , can you remind me about my gun when we come back please?"
This was going to be an interesting night...
He directed me as I drove along , the directions being totally different as to where Keith had described. He was a nervous passenger and said, " Sorry, Im always drive myself. Some young Police drive very clazy bad, and I see many accident for my work..."
He was based off the island, and I asked if , becuse that place had a large Muslim population, that he verified was 40%, that it was a peaceful post in that alcohol related violence was more limited .
He said, " It is more quiet than Patong, yes, but the young people have no book ( Koran) against Crystal Met and the man still are hitting the lady ( spousal abuse) and have big arguing about the land ( boundary disputes). Im sorry, my English is not good"
But it was fine and he was a a real gentleman and quite informative. mature as well, so we talked about language and work while I drove along.
We arrived at a hodge podge gaudily lit building and went inside. The place was big and easily could sit a hundred people on '80s style blue vinyl lounges on a bare concrete floor.
But it was empty bar a lone spot lit Thai girl , singing away in white frock and thigh high white leather boots.
Keith lead the way to a shabby a/c room with a Karaoke machine, and c.c. TV of the girl singing out front.
The boys sipped their beers with ice, and cracked jokes. 2 Thai girls came and set up the machine and they all sat around. Another unattractive girl came in and sat on one of the lads knee. Then another. It was quite boring except for the banter.
Keith finally announced, " The boss of this place ( Noon Karaoke) promised me a room full of naked dancers, that aint gonna happen by the looks...c'mon , less have a song then."
The girls set him up with a tune, and he belted it out in pretty good Thai with a Manchester accent, and before long there were a dozen Thais all at the door, looking surprised and laughing out loud.
I couldnt see Lerd, he was flat out on a lounge , laughing till he had tears in his eyes.
It was certainly loud.
He sang another and all the staff that were now at the door , or on blokes knees cheering again and clapping.
But Lerd had ordered the bin, saying there were plenty more places, but being Thursday night, many would be quiet.
Everyone only had 1000 baht notes when the bin came at 1650, which seemed a bit high to me, so the lads volunteered me , as the sober one, to hold a 'kitty' of 1,000 each, and pay from that.Lerd announced he'd only brought 800 apologetically but Keith and I said ,"Mai plu" ( South thai for "no problem") at the same time,and he nodded graciously.
The next spot was a very modern , smaller disco looking place with a Chinese boss and about 8 very attractive Thai girls there, but Lerd descided we should move on, and we drove a block or so on to the next venue, called Buddys Coffee Lounge.
I reversed the car into a tight spot with Lerd nervously gripping the dash. The boys jumped out and Lerd looked at me and said, " You have very good eye, you drive car very straight and careful all the time and not go over ( indicating the centre). Im not worry anymore."
Inside Buddys it was quite different. There were about 25 dancers and it turned out they could all sing.
As I had my first beer and ice with the boys ( only large bottles) we discussed the merits of adding ice or not. Most had set out the same as me, declaring ice in beer a travesty, but the older hands asserting that the rehydrating property if the water negated hangovers immensely. Didnt matter, the staff added ice and beer to your glass religiously, so you couldnt really measure how many beers you had.
All the dancers gathered on the podium and many were very tidy. Some of the lads eyes glistened. The girls commenced a simple dance routine and Joe next to me, knowing I had a bit of thai, asked me to ask the waitress if he could buy one of the dancers a drink.
I did so, but got a convoluted reply about buying a 'Lei' and that the prices varied for the ladies, some were 200, some 300 and some 400 baht. There was even a 1000 baht one if we wanted to show a special appreciation for them as they each had a turn at singing. I said i didnt really understand, and was telling Joe, when one of the 'male' singers , came over and explained the ritual, as this was really a Thai ritual in the sense that everybody could figure out or assume what the end game was all about but still had to jump thru the hoops, in perfect English.
Lerd had done the same over the other side of the table, and Gary picked a girl in red, now at the mike and crooning very well. She was over the moon ( really!) when she got her 200 baht 'lei' and all the other girls clapped her. They honestly looked to be having a great time. Keith sent up another and same same, then Joe one as well. All cost 200 baht, I dont know why.
With their set complete, the girls with flowers came and sat with the donors. Actually an extra one came and sat with me and Alan, we dont know why. Alan suggested it may be a case of buy 3 get 4 , and laughed. The girl was pretty and had no English.
She was from Roiet, and explained to me that the house needed girls from different areas, so they could sing songs in different dialects and styles, and could also do requests from customers of varying areas..
We were to see this as the ladies came and went to the seforum.xxxe and sang, some in the high falsettoes that were almost Chinese in sound from around Chiang Mai, some in the earthy 'Country' tunes of the Issan...Modern pretty young girls doing Bangkok pop ( Ishy ishy etc)
This was a far cry from the first place, and very entertaining. There were a few tables at the dimly lit back, Thai men with their Mia Nois ( little or 2nd wives) I believe, and a group of 4 young Japanese, one of whom paid the 1000 baht I learnt was the price for the priviledge to get up and sing. He was shy in a Japanese kind of way , but an excellent singer.
Keith wasnt having none of that. Gary sent up another 200 baht 'lei' to his girl when she sang, but a 1000 baht lei arrived first, so the waitress returned his money and took away the flowers while he sat looking puzzled!! The boys thought it hilarious when I announced he'd been 'gazumped'....
At no time was anything 'other' mentioned by anyone, tho clearly the place was a vehicle for later activities...then suddenly it was 1.30am and Lerd was calling for the bin ( bill).
The total was 1800 for an awful lot of beer and the boys approved a payment of 2000 for our more than a couple of happy hours. The singers stayed firmly at their table and waived goodbye.
Lerd is apparently a 4 drink wonder and reclined lazily on the drive back, muttering, " You have good eye", and "You own man but you strong , Thai man same age cannot" and stuff like that.
Kathu was in darkness with a power oueforum.xxxe when the boys got out for a nightcap at Keiths, I reminded Lerd not to forget his gun which I thought he was going to, then Gary reminded me not to drive off with the kitty, which I was nearly going to.
I have been here near 3 years and never ventured into any of these places before.
Depending on the vibe I would certainly go again.
Im wondering if many BMs have tried out Karaokes and or Coffee Shops while staying in Thailand?
:
just kidding. It was fine!!
, Cici 
, Mia 
and Vicky 
See you tomorrow! 
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