How should I approach friends about group sex?

[Shyam]

SOrry I missed this one....

Umm, I've seen some sex scenes and "most beautiful" is not the words I'd use to describe them. Degrading? Humiliating? Dehumanizing? Disgusting? might be more appropriate.



So, why do it? I mean if the focus and you avoided any interaction with the other guy, then him being there is pretty much irrelevant no?

I look at it this way: I don't have to shit into a bowl, sit down at the kitchen table and dig in with a big spoon to know I wouldn't like it. Does that make me insecure or narrow minded? No. It means I know myself, what I like, what I don't like and just because something isn't for me, doesn't make me anything other than me.

This SO reminds me of a discussion years ago at "the other board" about xtabi. What happens is single guys are frowned upon. So guys will go out and get escorts and attend a function. To the point where only about 20% are actual swingers, the rest are single guys with escorts. My take was: why pay to take an escort to a place where you swap escorts with someone else? Why not just book that fricken escort to begin with?

As for the UFC: I can say unequivocally that yeah, I admire the guy's physique. I mean, holy crap these guys are R I P P E D (some of them anyways, Big Country is anything but ripped lol). Does it mean I want to have sex with them? Hell no. It's kind of like a Bugatti Veyron: I can admire it's design, it's performance, everyting. Will I drive one? Hell no.......

 

[Cathy]

To trade up? arty:

Seems like a waste of money to me too, you're paying for the time to take them there and back as well.

 

[josh k]

Exactly, unless somebody is being less than honest with themselves.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.Lol.

 

[Nicole Washman]

Seeing her explore her sexual desires and testing her boundaries is definitely a turn-on. arty:

 

[c: smiley]

Sorry, there are SOME boundaries I don't want to see a woman cross, or approach, or test lol......*shudders* there are some things I've seen online that once seen, can't be UNseen and will haunt me until the day I die lol...

 

[Thistle]

I know you said "some" sex scenes, but what if the woman is into it? It's not degrading or humiliating then, is it?

 

[jo n jo]

I'm seriously laughing my ass off at this thread. Yes, his presence WAS irrelevant, except for the fact that he brought Mrs. Dallas along for us to play with.

WHY? That's an easy one to answer.

During the week we went to Temptations, I lost track of how many times I had sex w/ Mrs. CG, w/ Mrs. Dallas, w/ "Sarah" and w/ "Amy", either in one on one situations or in FMF 3way situations or in MFFM situations, but it must have been upwards of 20. True, Mr. Dallas was in the same room during a few of times with Mrs. Dallas, and in each case there were 2 ladies separating him and I.

I am comfortable enough with my own sexuality to overlook those few instances in which there's another dude in the room as long as there's no interaction between him or me, in favour of the bigger picture. That being: as much sex as a guy could possibly want with 4 different sexually liberated and VERY willing and attractive women and in many cases 2 of them simultaneously.

That's why.

 

[khalid]

Kudos to you CG for being able to be part of an experience like that.
I do think it takes a certain kind of man who is well equipped to handle everything that goes with that kind of situation. I mean, if it's gonna be with people whom you have meaningful relationships with anyways. Casual instances I think are probably a lot easier... you never have to see the other people again if you don't want to lol. I care deeply about most of the people I have sex with so I have yet to be with two men at the same time. But I'm sure it'll happen when I'm ready.

 

[liddabet]

See, it is comments like that that I don't understand. That is like saying "kudos for liking chicken" or the direct opposite "you're narrow minded if you can't be part of a situation like that". (the latter is what irks me and the gist of some of amy's comments). I think Amy has earned the Captain Obvious monniker lol. Of COURSE it takes a certain kind of man to be a part of a MMFF or a MMF, just like it takes a certain type of man to be an accountant, a brain surgeon, a carpenter, a priest, a porn star, a male model, a dentist, a nurse, an electrician, etc etc etc.

I think CG misinterpreted my "why"....the ONLY reason he was there was because he brought Mrs Dallas along.....Your encounters with amy sarah josie barbra or anyone other than Mrs Dallas, his presence was irrelevant and cannot be included in the why answer. My question as to why was more towards his involvement, or presence, as a reason to have a MMF. I know, how else could you have a finger cuffs situation unless there was another male right there. I think in this instance anyways, it was more like you "put up" with him being there so as to be able to fuck Mrs Dallas. If you could fuck Mrs Dallas without Mr Dallas being there, you would. ie: his presence wasn't a pre-requisite which IS the reason I question someone's motives behind wanting to have a MMF or MMFF.

But I am a little confused. I swear CG you said you did a MMF once for the ladies and said "been there done that" yet here in this post, you're indicating that it was more than a one time thing. According to your most recent post, it seems like it was more than a one time thing, more like what was it? 20 times you say? :intello:

 

[anonymous?girl]

Well, that is debatable. If someone wants to do crack, is that not still degrading? IMO it is.....in the S & M scene some are into degradation as it is part of their "thing". Like some like to be stepped on by the dom and or told to lick her boots. This is degrading even though they are a willing participant.

Another good example is the Burkha.....millions here feel that is degrading to women yet I'd say the vast majority who wear it, do so voluntarily.

 

[DukeofDixie]

Suppose we aren't talking about the S&M scene, just group sex.

If one of the women goes down on you, is that degrading or humiliating to her?

 

[Sarah M]

As strange as it may sound, to me, yes it is...which is one of the reasons I'm not a fan of bj's........

 

[Pompal 09.]

Okay, I understand that - I think a lot of guys get bj's because there's a degree of putting her in her place. Giving her a facial could be an extension of that.
Some women love giving bjs but many would rather not - even more so with anal sex. That's why there's a market for married men seeing SPs.

But we're talking about equals, not escorts and clients. There is consent among everyone, we presume these women love the taste of cock.

 

[tenny_the_true_gaian]

Oh come on tboy. Has it been THAT long since you were in a committed relationship? Everyone knows that sex with an SO is far different than sex with a random hook-up, or in the context of THIS website, with an SP. (I assume)

So yes- the fact that Mr. Dallas was present for a few of those sessions during the entire week in Cancun WAS relevant to the rest of the encounters. As everyone knows, one can really screw-up future sexual encounters with an SO, if you screw up at any time with that SO! LOL uch:

Seriously though if you want to segregate our encounters in Cancun to just the few encounters with Mr. Dallas in the room, then let me edit my statement to: "Yes, his presence WAS irrelevant to me, except for the fact that he brought Mrs. Dallas along for us to play with." If you want to talk about his relevance to Mrs. CG or Mrs. Dallas, then obviously this relevance changes, because as you point out, he was part of the MFFM & FM & MF goings on in the room. (BTW- MMFF is VERY different that MFFM just to be clear.) :shock:

His involvement both in Cancun and in Texas included sex acts with both Mrs. Dallas and Mrs CG sometimes one on one and sometimes in combination with both ladies. As for me- they included sex acts with both Mrs. CG and Mrs Dallas sometimes one on one and sometimes in combination with both.

As for the MFM 3ways (there were only 2- one for each lady and should NOT to be confused with MMF which is entirely different and NOT practiced by any of us) and the "finger cuffs" incident. These didn't happen until we met Mr. and Mrs. Dallas in Detroit about 6 weeks ago. And as I've already said, we did so at the request of the ladies:

 

[tonalc2]

This whole concept of being a cuckold is completely foreign to me.

Why anyone would encourage his wife to have sex with another man is beyond me.

Especially if there are kids involved. I can only imagine the disappointment they would feel if they found out.

To me once the monogamous intimacy is gone in a relationship it is the beginning of the end.

 

[Dave K]

Ouch! Such scathing personal remarks and digs. You guys need to get laid :tongue:

 

[Krissy]

SOrry CG, I didn't know there was a difference between MMF and MFM, I thought the initials were all that was important, not the order lol.....

I still think you misunderstand my why question. Let me put it another way: you're describing Mr Dallas' presence as an IF situation. You could only have sex with Mrs Dallas IF he was present, not BECAUSE he was present. Now put that into the MFM scenario and it seems like you had the MFM only IF he was there, you didn't have it BECAUSE he was there.

I also doubt that him being there was a pre-requisite to you having sex with amy and sarah and......

anyhow, Kudos to me for being a certain type that believes in monogamy "high 5's himself" lol......

(put it another way: IF the only way I could bang Jennifer Aniston was IF Brad was banging Angelina on the other side of the room, hell yeah I'd do it...but if the only way I could bang Jennifer was IF Brad was finger cuffing her, then No, I'd pass.......)

 

[Danielle A]

Are you bringing friends or taking us all on yourself? arty:

 

[Meta]

Hey auggie, I have a great example of degradation even under consent: gangbangs. ie: the Houston 500. Sure Houston was a willing participant but that sure as hell was IMO degrading.........

 

[tribeca_belle]

I would have to agree with you Bosco. :great: Cuckolding is a foreign subject to me as well.

Encouraging my wife to have sex with other women on the other hand? Well, that is something I am guilty of. It just so happens my wife enjoys the intimate company of women, and that is just something I cannot provide for her. Fortunately though, it is not something I have a problem with and she also has no issue sharing me with her GF's either.

Furthermore, in our situation, our children are very well aware of the fact that their parents still love each other immensely, and even after 23 years are still very much intimate with each other, so hopefully they will be well rounded and loving adults when they reach adulthood as well. Having had many friends whose parents split and get divorced as a result of incompatible sexual intimacy issues, they are very much aware of the fact that sexual intimacy is paramount to a parent's happiness. :love: